well. so there goes noel. for doing something that i couldn't control, my feelings. i was so freaking low on my life and was so near to giving up the whole life there. so that he came and made me feel that at lease there is someone who does care for me, showed concern, say nice things and stuff. caught me at my weakest and used it.
and things happened, i met him and realised that we weren't even meant to be. i thought i could trust nothing would really happen btw me and noel? how would i know that it is actually broke our friendship? i really don't know whats going on. he was someone whom i treated as a good friend, thought about him everytime(not love type of thinking), i even thought of him when i was out with that him. yes i know i said things about him and went against it, but doesn't he understand whats going on with the r/s s in my life? all the fuckers that cheated on me infront and behind of me. what am i supposed to feel? happy and feel strong? all i wanted was a bit of understanding because i treated you as a good friend and understood what that him did to me. i didn't even manage to finish telling him what really happened.

so now its gone, move on? can't. its too strong of a friendship for me.